A friend.. and I do believe you think you are a friend.. Has decided to give us an offer we shouldn’t say no to.. I’ll call my friend ‘Fortune’..
Fortune called with an offer to my 17 yo son MG and my DH, The Man. To work with him 1000 kms away, ripping up old insulation… not sure how it would help living away from home and our responsibilities here.
Fortune and I know you come here.. .. where I come from you don’t rip families apart for a quick buck and stuff the consequences.. if that’s what you think you need to do.. to your sick fiance and your 1o kids.. then you go ahead.. it’s the measure of you as a man… and your precious integrity.. is that what Mrs Fortune to be has to look forward to?
SO whatever you decide to do Fortune..keep your paws off my family and I will fight you on this.. I have in the past and I will again. Here it is Family First..Oh and that friend tag has been pushed pretty hard already lately and one day soon there might be a final straw.. .. . some of us aren’t so naive as to believe everything you say as gospel.. oh and here’s your tag….. without bourbon.. that will get you here quicker..
and with that message to the right person… I’ll get back to my regular blogging….
How often do we really take time each day to think? To DREAM about something we want or need. Maybe we should put that time a little higher on our list of TO-DO’s.
To take that time to listen to our own thoughts.. our hearts and not be afraid of what we might hear. Forget the negative self talk.. I mean the us thoughts… you know what I mean..
I’ve been reminded of the absolute power of our THOUGHTS and our DREAMS and those LISTS which record our wishes and what we want or need.
A couple of years ago we had to move as the house we were living in was put on the market and the owners wanted to sell it empty… at the time it was a disaster. We had little money and we couldn’t find anything anywhere.. we were lining up for house inspections with up to 100 other people. I was finding it very difficult emotionally .. it was degrading. I hate renting. I hate other people having that power over us. Never really feeling in control of our lives. Ultimately at the whim of others and their life decisions… anyways..
After one particular gruelling day house hunting which included 4 of the 5 of us being bitten by ants while waiting to inspect one house.. and feeling like cattle being poked through the door.. we put our heads together and made a list.. our dreams for the house we wanted to live in.. This week when I was feeling stressed and a little flat I picked up a piece of paper and lo and behold it was .. da da daaa THE LIST.. out of thin air.just sitting there. I think it was waiting to remind me ..
So I’ll share it with you and you can see how our list worked for US.
- 4bedrooms – technically no but one of the bedrooms is HUGE so we count it as 4 and MG’s (DS17) bedroom has another small room he uses as an office.
- 2km’s from where we were living – umm no .. BUT we just forgot to put the 0 after the 2.. LOL you know what I thought not being close to where we were living would be a problem.. it isn’t. It is a blessing being away from the heavy suburbia.. miss the neighbours but we see them all regularly and we live in a heavenly rural area. Horses, cows, some sheep and goats
- Fully Airconditioned – every window opens, and because we have a rainforest out our back door the air coming through is cooled and seriously better for us than air being recycled.. it’s fresh.
- Quiet Dishwasher – YES.. but we don’t use it…lol so it’s even quieter than we imagined.
- Pool – no… BUT.. the creek which is pretty much at the bottom of our drive has a swimming hole about 100 metres up the road.
- Gas Stove – YES
- Nice decent size yard..YES.. OMG yes..lol we have about 9 acres…
- the price in our reach – YES….
- built in wardrobes – YES – bigger than we imagined..lol
- foxtel connectible – YEP
A side view of Woodpuddle. The hanging towel is out my bedroom. On the right are massive bamboo stands and in the foreground.. honeysuckle and a hidey hole for a looong snake that visits too.
- 1 storey house - YES .. but we are on stilts so have to go upstairs to go inside..
- Pets allowed – absolutely YES and they are loved and welcome
- Cat door – not technically but with so many doors and windows.. he comes and goes.
- Long Lease – no
but we just keep renewing it. - Good size laundry near the backyard – YES 2 steps to the back verandah
- heaps of storage – the entire underneath of the house and the massive built in wardrobes, plus the space above the laundry is another massive storage area..cool hey
- white/beige tiles OR wooden floors – WOODEN which we love
- Huge linen cupboard – YES
- nice size entertainment area – YES.. Front Verandah, back Verandah, front yard, side yard and oh we could have a rave here with the paddock up the back… cool
- 2 sunflowers in the backyard – no … but we have orchids, day lillies,
- park nearby – just up the road about 300 metres there is a park.. but our place is bigger
- tall fence - ok.. NO FENCE..
- skylight – YES 2
- 2-3 car garage technically no.. but we can fit 3 cars under the house comfortably
- ensuite – Yes.. and it’s so cool. They have shells in the grouting.. beautiful.
- double kitchen sink - YES
- we get the house easily with a fantastic real estate. – Yes.. we visited and the owner was here. She fell in love with my boys, she also has 3, she liked us and we liked her.. which is handy cause she lives with her partner in another house on the property.. but we hardly see them and we love them.. beautiful people.. beautiful souls..
So you can see there were some things we didn’t get.. but they weren’t any of the things that really mattered to us.. and the extras we have by being here outweigh our losses.
Our list worked for us.. our DREAMS about the house we would live in came true.. and you know what when we live at a place as magical as Woodpuddle those dreams come true everyday.. this morning 5am at Woodpuddle for example a couple of those extras came to visit and these are just 2 of many magical visitors we get here. Wallabies, Roos, many different species of birds, cows ( to us they are magical visitors), possums, frogs, owls and even the little fireflies..
Just beautiful. I followed them later trying to get a closer shot. Once the mother caught my scent she started to hop away aggressively. Her jumps were very loud, I think she was slamming her tail on the ground. I thought I was stalking them better than I was. .....
I wandered out onto the verandah because I had seen our visitors a couple of days ago at about 5am. I peeked over the edge and there was nothing. I stepped back to go inside and heard a noise so I looked over again and they were just arriving for the morning nibble on the grass. The Joey in the background was about 40cm tall and mum was about about 80 – 100 cm. I think they are either Eastern Grey Kangaroos or the Pretty Faced Wallaby. By their sizes the wallaby is my best guess, not 100% though. .I know it’s a really bad photo.. there was hardly any light, the sun was just peaking it’s head above the horizon. I adjusted the levels
Speaking of cameras. I so need a decent one.. that Nikon D80 I’ve been lusting after for a while will be going on my next list. Starting today… I don’t go for many material things but this is one I’m making an exception for.
SOOOO.. I’m going to start my next list.. after I continue to take that thinking time and listen to my heart some more….
Later…. Woodpuddlians….. ((( smiles )))
Lemon Meringue Pie
I was in Newcastle recently.. my best friends Mum had passed away and I stayed with her for a couple of weeks. While it wasn’t under the best of circumstances we did get to spend some time being the idiots that we are. Deb is my soul friend I spoke about in my previous post.
Anyway.. we were getting lunch one day at a ‘fish n chip ‘ shop in Warners Bay and we were perusing the magazines. I found a recipe for Lemon Meringue Pie. I didn’t know Deb’s mum had always made the best Lemon Meringue Pies.. I had no idea. So I’ve sprouted out with ‘hey why don’t we make one for dessert’.. she got a gleeful look in her eyes while I ripped the recipe out of the magazine.. I’m not the only one who does this am I..lol?
Of course we didn’t really read the recipe and missed the fact it needed 2 hours in the fridge to set a little and cool and even though it was lovely it didn’t have a chance with 4 eager adults waiting to devour it and 2 children who thought they could turn the meringue into volcanoes..
Today my son JD and I are recreating the event. The base is pretty high.. I didn’t have the proper pan so I’m using a springform cake tin instead.
This was the gorgeous egg we cracked open. I wish it was homegrown but we ran out. This was in the shop bought eggs..very cool. The boys all thought it was excellent.. and it led into the talk about twins.. etc.
JD had fun in the kitchen with me making dessert which will follow his Spaghetti Bolgnaise tonight. I’ve always had alot of fun in the kitchen with my boys and this is something else
I’ll pop a link to the recipe for this delicious Lemon Meringue Pie.. rather I should say it’s a Lemon Passionfruit Meringue Pie because we loooove passionfruit at Woodpuddle.
I’m really enjoying being back into the kitchen now that I’m home.
On The Man front. He is very confident after his job interview on Monday and has had feedback that he is in the top 2.. yay. If it’s meant to be it will be ..
Oh and the bad news.. the Lemon Passionfruit Merigue Pie died and early death. We ate it before dinner.. lol The lesson to be learned is waiting is sometimes the best idea. The poor thing would have finished setting .. anyway we really enjoyed it…
Bye to all my Puddleducks..
I’m sitting here on my verandah at Woodpuddle. Listening to the birds – it’s their time now to hog all my attention. The most significant noise is the call of the Noisy Miner – ironically.
Last week I listened to – or rather I didn’t.. to John Cage’s 4′33 and I’ve been mindful of the message I took from it. NOT to listen but to HEAR. So everyday I try to set aside some time to hear … I’ve heard some amazing sounds. My children (whom I home school) laughing, yelling with joy, giggling, screaming in anger, singing, playing guitar. I’ve learned from them by taking this time.
I’ve also learnt more about me. I’ve realised how important the sounds of nature are to me. That I’m fortunate living here at Woodpuddle where I can go hours without hearing a single man made sound. .. cars, trucks, machines of any kind. The predominant noises are nature.
Birds, cockatoos, magpies, crows, chooks, currawongs, the magnificent songs of the butcherbirds, peewees, rosellas, wood ducks, king parrots – and truly the list goes on .. and that’s important to me.
When the birds become silent the gentle rustle of the leaves in the gigantic gum trees in front of the house give a new dimension to noise.. usually a background noise which I take for granted now I hear as another layer.
There are the insects, – flies buzzing around me, the wasps flying past to their nests and the gentle hum of the native bees as they move from plant to plant.
Then the softest layer .. the one I wait for when it’s louder, later in the day – the frogs. The gentle croaks, cricks, chirrups and calls they make to each other.. this soothes me like no other noise does.
While I sit here listening I realise how much I have missed what is so very important to me.
You see I’m broke – not in the financial sense – I mean me.
Earlier this year the universe gave me what I needed.. a way to stop. In fact I could be so bold as to say the universe stopped me.
I was giving away too much of me. My work had changed. The terms I agreed to had all changed and none were the reason why I had said yes to my job. …. I was trapped. Not wanting to let people down.. not looking after me.
At the same time a volunteer position I love was falling apart, as Group Leader of a Scout Group. In this role I rely upon the parents of the children to run the group with me… but I was deserted – no Chairman, Secretary, Treasurer, Fundraising co-ordinator. None of the other peripheral tasks were filled. I had a great set of enthusiastic Youth Leaders but the Group was in trouble. For over 2 years I carried the burden with many promises from parents that never came through… and I was exhausted.. burnt out. I should have done things differently. I should have threatened and followed through to suspend the Group until the help happened but it would have been the children that suffered. Instead I did.
So I was complaining about work, scouts, home schooling because it wasn’t working well. Then, both my parents who live in other cities became ill. Mum had breast cancer and Dad who was recovering from lung cancer needed an aortic valve replacement and they found more cancer in his other lung. So then it was – work, home, scouts, husband not working (also having his own health issues), sick parents and something in me snapped and I was barely functioning. Still working just, not scouting that brought on panic attacks and crying, homeschooling left to my husband and eldest son.
Then the universe stepped in. My work stopped because one of my employers was retrenched and would be home with his kids. A friend at Scouts realised my inability to carry the scout group anymore and took over my role. I was at home again with my beautiful kids doing a little more each day with them. My parents both had their operations and I had the opportunity to see them both in the same time frame while they were within 160 km apart instead of the usual 1500 km and I also caught up with my soul friend. You know that special friend who rings when you think about them or vice versa. I spent 2 weeks away from home seeing special people in my life and somehow with my husband not working we have managed financially.
So while I was broke or broken – bit by bit I’ve been healing. Oh I’m still hurting in my heart, I’m missing my Scouts and don’t see a future there anymore, I’m still having panic attacks being at the scout den. I’m owed money from work and I’m disappointed with them, my parents are both on the mend and I’m worried about them but I’ve learnt to balance it all a little more.
Right this minute my husband is at a job interview – another one. I’m hoping for him that this is the job that his heart desires. That will help him gain more confidence and help him feel whole again.
We’re busy juggling like most families do. Our eldest son has his learners permit now and is driving with our supervision and having lessons. He is now working at our local supermarket. He has a girlfriend. His life is moving to the next stage and he is open to all the possibilities that his future holds. Making decisions for himself, learning to ask for our time – to take him to and from work. He is a compassionate person who is well respected and liked. He is a great kid, an absolute blessing and my rock.
My 2 younger sons are dreams too. At the moment they are learning about responsibilities and negotiation. Lesson I hope will stay with them. I’ve learnt their latest currency – the Xbox and they have learnt mine, a tidy and livable bedroom. We are yet to reach the perfect conclusions but we are getting there. They are fun, happy and delightful human beings.
I’ve spent time to get back in touch with my art. I love drawing, painting, felting, bookmaking and journalling. I’m even thinking of doing some classes to expand my knowledge. My confidence is growing but by bit.
Today, all this realisation started with a branch. One small branch in the gum tree, more like a twig really. You see it broke away from the top of the tree. I heard the snap and it falling through the branches. I saw it stop. Well it didn’t really stop it’s teetering on the top of a small limb. The breeze is moving the twig back and forward and for over an hour it has been balanced.
and so have I
Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.
If it’s not showing please follow the link..it’s worth the trip.. I think.
So after you’ve watched that and I hope enjoyed it as much as I you might notice I’ve deleted everything here.. my former blabberings have gone to make way for my future blabberings. I’m starting again.. again..lol
I’m away next week for a funeral. My best friend the *Bitch* said with all the love and respect in the world has lost her Mum this week. She died unexpectedly but thankfully it seems peacefully but too young. She went the way I want to, in my sleep. So I’m going to my birth town of Newcastle, Australia to be with her and help with her kids.
Her Mum Val, was a lovely lady and over the years I’ve known her we’ve had a lot of fun times. Recently we went to the APPAs in Sydney and found all the mischief we could. It’s a loss for my friend and her family but gee I’m going to miss playing with Val at the Melbourne Awards next year…
So when I return this blog is really going to get going. ….. wait with baited breathe…again…lol
I’ve been blog surfing lately.
Looking for inspiration and on flickr too. Looking at art journals, drawings, doodles and the like. On twitter I enjoyed reading a blog post by @QuinnCreative . Oh yeah I am the link following queen. Fair dinkum I can have easily 20 or more tabs on my google chrome..I hate to think I might miss something exciting. right now I have umm..13.
Anyway I digress.
I love keeping a journal but in my head the journal is perfect..
the cover,
every line,
colour,
photo
especially the words that I write.
I want it all to be perfect and I know that this is not possible and this actually stops me from starting.
I know I can’t be perfect and trying to be perfect is taking all the fun and possibilities away for me. It is something I am working on.. bit by bit.
QuinnCreative wrote about this on her blog here and it really spoke to me.
The concept of wrecking my own journal ishorrifying.. but intriguing.. in a way..
sort of... a little bit..
but I really don’t know that I could do it… I’m going to try and find out. lol
